By Alison Marks

When most people set out to decorate their homes, they assume there’s some magical “right answer” and begin by asking things like:

- What would look good here?

- What color do I like?

- What will fit there?

These are good questions to ask, but they’re not powerful questions. When people who have great spaces set out, they may, consciously or unconsciously, start with a more fundamental set of questions:

- What functions need to happen in this space?

- What is important to me?

- What feelings and qualities do I want this space to embody and feed back to me?

In short, great spaces are great because they resonate with who we are on a deep level and fulfill very real needs we have. Instead of being a place that holds the things you’ve happened to end up with, or even a bunch of things you like, your home can be a living laboratory for bringing alive the qualities and functions that serve and support you in living your life well.

Getting clear

For example, if you’ve done the ground work to get clear that you want your living room to be all about “light, community and fun,” everything else becomes very easy.  You have your mantra as you make all kinds of decisions about that space – window treatments, furniture, layout, colors, floor coverings, other furnishings, etc.  After you’ve made even just a handful of choices about your room by asking yourself “What would best express and support light, community and fun?” you’ll start to see a natural cohesion and integrity emerging in your space.

Bringing it alive

The changes don’t have to be big or costly (though of course they can be).  Once you brainstorm all the ways that the qualities you’ve chosen can be best expressed, you can start by making the quick and easy changes, then prioritize what remains and make a plan for getting to the rest of the items. Keep an open mind. As you’re out in the world you will no doubt get new ideas - and new things - that deepen your experience and understanding of your chosen qualities. Your way of thinking about your space (and you) will change over time.

Underlying this approach is a belief that having a relationship with your space - a vital, dynamic, ever-changing dialog - is a powerful tool in living a life of quality. You and your spaces grow together, and the heart and energy you give to this process is reflected back, feeding what’s most important to you. As your needs and sensibilities change, so does your space. This particular path of self-discovery is one that will give you back over time so much more than the time and effort you put into it.

Questions to get you started

Be as specific as you can when answering these questions. You may want to think about them over time and even write down your thoughts. There are no right and wrong answers here, only honest answers -- your answers.  Don't worry about making sense or being consistent. For example, some of the qualities that emerge over and over for me are both stillness and boldness, quiet and energetic activity. We are all complex creatures with many different sides. 

Our job here is to literally create space for us to be all that we are.

- What are the places you've been in that have moved you the most? How did you feel there? What qualities were present there?

- What do you love about your home as it is now? What nooks and crannies, as well as broad vistas, make you smile?

- What qualities are important for you to bring alive in each of the spaces in your home?