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By Alison
Marks How many times have
you made a resolution on January 1 only to be disappointed just weeks – or
even just days – later? A
different approach to the new year is to set intentions. I tried this in 2005 and here are
some things I learned. The
difference between a resolution and an intention Resolutions are all
about will power, about what you
will do to make something happen. Intentions, while they don’t exclude the use of will, are more
about bringing your whole self to what you’re creating. They are about jumping in with
both feet and being whoever it
is you need to be to have that thing happen. Both resolutions and intentions
can be hard work, but there is a key difference: resolutions you impose
upon yourself, and you muster your forces to do this thing you feel you should do to make yourself a
better person. There is no
“should” in intentions – you really just choose and then go for it. The
importance of clarity The first step in
working with intentions is being crystal clear about what it is you want
to manifest. As the saying
goes, “If you’re not looking for anything in particular, don’t be
surprised when nothing in particular shows up.” A great practice is to
write down your intentions.
This forces you to be very clear about exactly what you’re up to,
gives your intentions some substance in the world, and provides you with
something to remind you when your brain wants to forget.
You saw the movie
“What the Bleep Do We Know?” this year, right? So you know that our brains don’t
really register the difference between what “objectively” happens in the
world around us and whatever stories we choose to tell ourselves. We have
incredible power to program ourselves for success, which comes from using
our imagination to create that reality. To do that, we need a clear and
specific idea of what we choose for ourselves. We do not have
control over most things that happen, but we do have control over our thinking
and our actions. When our thoughts and actions are aligned toward a
specific end, when we create space for and nurture our intentions so that
they are alive in our lives, they can’t help but start showing up, often
in unexpected ways. If you’re like me,
one of the things that might be stopping you is that you don’t know
exactly what it is that will guarantee your happiness and success. You want to get it just right before you start going
after it. Here’s a secret: it really doesn’t matter what you
set as your intention. If it
feels good to your gut and isn’t going to hurt anyone, then jump in. If
you get started and then change your mind about exactly what you
want to accomplish or how you will accomplish it, don’t beat up on
yourself; it merely reflects your own flexibility and willingness to change
as you gather more information.
The important thing
is that you are in the process. Once you’re in it all the way, the
next steps and any changes you need to make reveal themselves as they’re
needed. Another thing that
may be holding you back is fear of thinking too big. You may have an idea
of what would make you happy and fulfilled, but you want to be realistic
because you don’t want to fail and be disappointed yet again. But the way
you’ve done it in the past – half-heartedly – has gotten you exactly the
results you have in your life today. Probably not awful, but missing something. If you have an inkling of
something outrageous or wonderful that would brighten your life, go for
it! There is incredible power
in setting intentions beyond what you currently think is possible. (How do you think I started my own
business this year and now you and hundreds others are reading this
newsletter?!)
Your physical space
– your home, work environment, etc. – can be a very powerful tool for
anchoring your intentions in a number of ways.
De-cluttering
– your spaces and your life Once you know what
it is you’re after, it’s really easy to know what stays in your life and
what goes. Clearly, some
things that inhabit your spaces with you will support your intention and
others won’t. If your intention is to be a successful professional
investment banker within three years, clean out your closet of jeans and
old shirts, keeping only what you love and need, to make room for new
clothes that will support your moving up the ladder. Once you start
de-cluttering, getting rid of what doesn’t serve you in your life, you’re
likely to feel energized. Our
“stuff” has energy to it, and when it’s stagnant in our spaces, we tend to be stagnant, too. Use this to your advantage! Once you start de-cluttering you
will feel so good that you’ll want to do more. I recommend starting with some
small, defined, visible space, like a shelf or your cd collection.
No matter what your
intentions, a clear, clean space without clutter is a powerful tool to
bring more clarity and focus to support you in whatever you’re up to. A
quiet place Having a spot where
you can sit quietly and examine your life is a powerful tool for having
your intentions become realities. Your spot doesn’t have to be a whole
room, or even an area that’s “all yours.” For many people, especially living
with others in limited space, that is not an option. But pick out some corner that you
can occasionally – or even better, regularly – retreat to. Mark your quiet time with some
ritual like lighting a candle or reading from an inspirational book. And then take some time to
review your intentions.
As you review them,
close your eyes and feel in your body what it would be like to have your
intentions be real right now. Use all your senses to have the scene come
alive. What do you smell? How does the air feel? What noises do you hear
in the background? Who is
there with you? What are you saying, or what is being said to you? Make it as real as you can –
remember, your mind doesn’t know the difference between “reality” and the
stories we tell it. When we tell ourselves great stories about our
intentions often enough, our subconscious begins to believe it and magic
happens. Reminders
There are countless
ways you can use your things and your space to remind yourself of your
intentions and keep them alive every day of the year. Some people find that making a
treasure map is a powerful tool. This is a collage, drawing or other
graphic depiction of your intentions. You may have one for each of your
intentions, or a big one that reminds you of all the important things you’re
heading toward in your life.
Some people like to put this up where they see it daily, filtering
it into the brain and letting it work its magic. Others prefer to be more private.
If this is you, try to find some way to remind yourself to review your
treasure map regularly. Make
it part of some routine, like making coffee, going to bed at night, or
paying your bills each week.
You can also create
other reminders in your home that keep your intention alive. For example, if you intend to buy
a new home, represent that with a special key on your keychain or by your
door. If a month-long tour of
Using
your space to become who you want to be Who do you need to
be in order to fulfill your intention? Perhaps there’s some way that you
can inhabit your home or workspace that can support you in becoming that
kind of person. For example,
do you want more friendship and community in your life? Create a space in your home where
you can entertain; buy some more chairs to go around your table or
cushions for your living room floor.
Do you want to go back to school or write a book? Clear a space
where you can work well without distraction, and make sure that it’s
inspiring and feels good to you. How
do I choose my intentions? If an idea for your
life makes you feel energized, consider that as a possible intention to
commit yourself to. It does
not matter one bit if it’s too outrageous, too big, too quirky, too
expensive, too crazy, too unrealistic, too selfish, too whatever! What
matters is that there’s something about it that contributes to your life
energy. You have been given unique gifts, and you have unique gifts to
offer. You can wait your whole life for things to fall into place exactly
as you want them to, or you can decide right now that you’re going to
choose for yourself how it will be, and then work with the universe to
make it happen.
Of course, the
universe has its own story to tell with our lives. Feeling moved, happy,
fulfilled and energized is a sign that we are on the right track. DO NOT
try to intend something for your life out of any sense of obligation. If it doesn’t make your heart
sing, it is not meant for you, no matter how much you want it to be.
When your whole
being is aligned, unexpected and magical things happen!
RECAP: Here are some
things you can do to make your intentions come
alive! Set meaningful
intentions What has juice for you? There should be no sense
of obligation or “should” in your intentions, just a good feeling moving
toward something that makes you happy. Write down your
intentions Review all the
areas of your life (you may want to look at finance, love/sex
relationships, family, friends, home environment, career, personal and
spiritual growth, community involvement, physical health, fun and
recreation). What do you really want? Write your intentions down in
clear, specific words. Review
these intentions regularly, perhaps once or twice a
day. De-clutter Clear your space so
that nothing’s in the way – physically or energetically – blocking your
intention. Quiet
place Have a place where
you can safely and comfortably drop into yourself and examine your
life. This is a great place
to review your intentions. Treasure
map Create a visual
depiction of your intentions and display it where you will interact with
it regularly. You can use
images from magazines, drawings, even a few words. The idea is to capture the essence
of your intention so that when you look at your map it is immediately
alive for you. It doesn’t
need to make sense to anyone else, as long as it’s clear to
you. Physical
reminders Create “codes” in
your home and work space for your intentions, clues that will remind you
over and over again of where you are headed. Who do you need to
be? In addition to the
reminders, arrange your home and work environment so that you will be
guided to be the kind of person you need to be to have your intentions
come alive.
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